Paquito woke up in a stereotypical fashion for the start of a movie. The camera panned the surroundings of skyscrapers and zoomed in on a closeup of a little owl. He was in a Christmas tree! The last thing he remembered before waking up was the voices of two people. He remembered them calling each other Kat and Michelle along with the loud revving of a pickup truck that had disrupted his sleep. He was currently facing a gargantuan Christmas tree while nesting in one of the smaller spruces potted around a quadrangle. Bright lights flashed in his eyes causing him to remember everything.
Very clever Kat and Michelle, he thought, creating this scenario for the Guardian Whiskers writing contest. By breaking the fourth wall, Paquito recalled his past lives. He had been a cat, a hummingbird, a squirrel, an octopus and now an indigenous North American owl named “Paquito” who was self-aware and omniscient.
First, he flew to Central Park where he saw a couple sitting on the bench: a man in a suit and a woman in trainers. They were in their mid-twenties and arguing loudly for all the early birds to hear.
“Why are you spending so much money?” said the man.
“Since when did you care how I spent my own money?” retorted the woman.
“That doesn’t justify the crazy amount of unnecessary designer bags you keep buying.”
“Shows what you know. I’m an Instagram influencer. I claim these bags as a tax write-off.”
“You’re a deeply dishonest person!”
At that point, Paquito decided to intervene. He perched on the branch of an oak tree and hooted until he got the couple’s attention.
“It seems to me,” said Paquito, “that the two of you ought to break up over conflicting values.”
“Suits me just fine,” said the man who had been hoping to move to Florida as soon as he could figure out how to break up and a talking owl’s advice seemed like a convenient excuse. “You were always too bougie for me, Sarah.”
“And you were always a cheapskate, Mike,” Sarah said. “My mother was right about you. You only ever cared about yourself!”
Mike and Sarah continued to argue as Paquito decided his job there was done. He flew to a cafe called Central Perk which he had seen in a sitcom called Friends. He was able to blend into the background where he observed two women sitting on a plush couch, one older and one younger.
“I need your advice, Auntie Rosemary,” said the younger woman. “The crime in this city is out of control and I’m afraid for my safety all the time. I just don’t know a good way to tell my husband.”
“Well, Meg, you should tell Ryan that he needs to find a better job than a barista at a cafe,” said Aunt Rosemary. “He should look at job ads in other cities’ newspapers until he finds something more suited to his level of education.”
“You know Ryan is just looking for his big break.” said Meg. “He thinks he can’t be an actor in any city but New York. Besides, he loves it here.”
“Oh, Meg. You must think about what’s best for your future. Ryan is a poor actor. You need to tell him the truth or he’ll keep living in his delusion forever. If you won’t, at least suggest that he can always try his luck acting in another city.”
“But if I tell him, he will hate me forever.”
“And if you don’t tell him, he’ll continue being the disappointment I always told you he was since before you married him.”
“But Ryan is a good guy! He loves me a lot, too.”
“‘Good’ doesn’t pay the bills, sweetheart. I’m sorry to say this, but either you break his heart now, or you break it later. Now would you be a dear and get me a muffin to go while I touch up my lipstick in the ladies room?”
At that point, Paquito could take it no longer. He swooped down to the couch as Aunt Rosemary vacated her seat.
“Ahem,” said the omniscient owl, clearing his throat. “I’ve heard everything, Meg, and I need to tell you this. Your Aunt Rosemary is not the caring mentor you thought she was. What she’s after is your validation and attention. She never liked your husband, and she’s counting on you to inadvertently break his confidence. What you must do instead is, move to Sarasota Springs, Florida with Ryan. There, he will find a theatre that can accommodate his talents and work part-time as necessary. That way, you will no longer have to fear for your safety.”
Meg took in every word from this wise little owl and said, “Who would I contact when I’m there?”
“You should find a man named Jake Barnes at the local Westfield Shopping Mall. He’s there every Saturday walking his Bernese mountain dog around the food court. He owns the theatre that can employ Ryan and all your problems will be solved.”
Blinking back the tears, Meg handed Paquito a plastic-wrapped banana muffin just as Aunt Rosemary emerged from the bathroom.
“Thank you for your wise advice, I will do exactly what you said.”
With his job done there, Paquito took the muffin in his talons and flew off to the brownstones of Brooklyn. There he found two brothers sitting on their front steps with their backpacks sitting by their feet. One wore an orange vest while the other wore a New York Yankees pinstripe jersey. Paquito already knew their names were Josh and Tyler respectively.
“Hey Tyler, I just turned in my Taradiddle story for the latest writing prompt,” said Josh.
“About the owl, right?” said Tyler. “Me, too. I wonder if one of us will win.”
“Say, what was the name of your owl?”
“Paquito.”
At the mention of his name, the owl vanished in a puff of smoke. But he knew that already.
Written by
Shawn Hsieh from San Jose, CA
